Saturday Sayings Week 2

Since my last post was so serious, this week's edition of "Saturday Sayings" is going to be all funny quotes!

 

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

-Albert Hubbard

 

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

-Steve Martin

 

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."

-Isaac Asimov

 

"Homework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"

-Phyllis Diller

 

"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."

-Elayne Boosler

 

"Weather forecast tonight: dark."

-George Carlin

 

"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry."

-Bill Cosby

 

"Alright everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height."

-Casey Stengel

 

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."

-Fred Allen

 

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."

-Groucho Marx

 

 "I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you."
-Robin Williams

"What's another word for Thesaurus?"
-Steven Wright